Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Since 7576 Days

It's easily the worst of the lot, by quite a large margin. It's a bit of a shame to have to admit this, but the bulk majority of its redeeming values can be blamed almost solely on nostalgia. If this movie is even good, it's only because we get to see Harison Ford in action again. It pains me to say this, because I adore Spielberg--but this might be his worst movie ever. It is still entertaining, in a sort of, carefree summer blockbuster sort of way.

And ya know what? It's a shame that I have to say this too, because I'm a bit of a Lucas fan: but fucking'a this guy should stop writing stories. The plot in The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is awful. There's no way to avoid it. I'm surprised the man didn't try to tie the franchise into the Star War's universe--it's really wouldn't have been a big leap at this point.

There should have been some freaking Nazi's too. Russians, blah! Cate Blanchett was fucking great though, which is one of the movies real redeeming qualities. If you go expecting a fun, carefree ride, you'll probably like it. Just don't expect an instant classic, because it's far from it.

It's bad and it's good. It has some really great moments.. but it misses the mark. It could have been much worse--Lucas could have directed it himself. Spielberg manages to take this places that George never would be capable of himself.

In reply to

It's easily the worst of the lot, by quite a large margin. It's a bit of a shame to have to admit this, but the bulk majority of its redeeming values can be blamed almost solely on nostalgia. If this movie is even [i]good[/i], it's only because we get to see Harison Ford in action again. It pains me to say this, because I adore Spielberg--but this might be his worst movie ever. It is still entertaining, in a sort of, carefree summer blockbuster sort of way.

And ya know what? It's a shame that I have to say this too, because I'm a bit of a Lucas fan: but fucking'a this guy should stop writing stories. The plot in The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is awful. There's no way to avoid it. I'm surprised the man didn't try to tie the franchise into the Star War's universe--it's really wouldn't have been a big leap at this point.

There should have been some freaking Nazi's too.  Russians, blah! Cate Blanchett was [i]fucking great[/i] though, which is one of the movies real redeeming qualities. If you go expecting a fun, carefree ride, you'll probably like it. Just don't expect an instant classic, because it's far from it.

It's bad and it's good. It has some really great moments.. but it misses the mark. It could have been much worse--Lucas could have directed it himself. Spielberg manages to take this places that George never would be capable of himself.

Sath

Since 7442 Days

So basically it is good to see Ford in his Indy character again and have som "fun" entertainment.

Well that is what I want, atleast you know.

Posted by GriftGFX

I'm surprised the man didn't try to tie the franchise into the Star War's universe

Haha Ford as Han Solo in Indiana Jones, double role at the same time, that would be confusing :P

But I didn't like War of the Worlds that much though, was a bit bored after the beginning, so I doubt this one is worse than that movie, but I will have to see how it turns out.

I expected Cate to do a great performance, and if you say she did and you actually said "fucking great" so I am pretty confisdent its gonna be great to watch her play her role.

Well I am going to watch the movie and hoping to like it more than you did ;)
If not, I hope it atleast entertains me.

Thanks for the spoiler free mini review, appreciate it.

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Ninja Gaiden 2!

*A New Form of Change*

Phaethon360

Since 7422 Days

I agree with most of that Grift. But I walked in with a lower set of expectations and I was still let down. It has to be one of the worse paced movies I've ever seen. And it was just over the top, and silly. Not clever or thrilling.

A fridge surviving a nuclear blast? COME ON! ALIENS?! THE HELL?!

Indiana Jones is STILL a trilogy in my book. On the plus side, the visual effects were great. Everything else I would leave.

In reply to

Hey, I'm just like you. I put my pants on one leg at a - dammit, I knew I forgot something today.

GriftGFX

Since 7576 Days

Let's see.

War of the worlds = classic science fiction literature + Steven Spielberg.

The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull = retarded George Lucas drivel + Steven Spielberg.

Winner?

Duh.

Posted by Phaethon360

Indiana Jones is STILL a trilogy in my book. On the plus side, the visual effects were great. Everything else I would leave.

The CG was too, too much. They claimed Indy wouldn't be a computer graphics spectacle, but it seems like Georgy couldn't help himself. The fact that Spielberg is capable of handling such an over-the-top circus side show and still manages to weave it into an enjoyable flick does speak to his greatness though.

If you take the same quality screenplay and put it in the very incapable hands of George Lucas you have The Phantom Menace. That said, I actually enjoy the plot in his Star Wars prequels more, though they're ten times the mess from a straight-up storytelling or film making perspective.

The movie had some truly funny moments--and some of them were intentional.. but the funniest Lucas moments: 1) Describing them as "interdemensional aliens" to try to break free of the sci-fi stigma--and then following that up with a fucking flying saucer! Give it up George, they're interdemensional space aliens -- and 2) The most retarded bit of dialog in the movie--truely Star Wars caliber stuff, "Their treasure was knowledge....." "Knowledge was their treasure."--REDUNDANT--did anybody edit this script, at all?

Lucas probably wanted to .. reveal that the crystal skull's belonged to Yoda's race--finally tying Star Wars to Earth and a real world time line.

Thank god he wasn't driving this thing.

Pros: It has Indiana Jones in it. Stuff blows up. Cate Blanchett is unbelievably cool.

Cons: It has "Indiana Jones the third" in it (he's not bad, but.. too much screen time.. and the Tarzan shit was totally unnecessary). Stuff blows up. Cate Blanchett isn't a Nazi.

In reply to

Let's see.

War of the worlds = classic science fiction literature + Steven Spielberg.

The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull = retarded George Lucas drivel + Steven Spielberg.

Winner?

Duh.

[quote=Phaethon360]Indiana Jones is STILL a trilogy in my book. On the plus side, the visual effects were great. Everything else I would leave.[/quote]

The CG was too, too much. They claimed Indy wouldn't be a computer graphics spectacle, but it seems like Georgy couldn't help himself. The fact that Spielberg is capable of handling such an over-the-top circus side show and still manages to weave it into an enjoyable flick does speak to his greatness though.

If you take the same quality screenplay and put it in the very incapable hands of George Lucas you have [i]The Phantom Menace[/i]. That said, I actually enjoy the [i]plot[/i] in his Star Wars prequels [b]more[/b], though they're ten times the mess from a straight-up storytelling or film making perspective.

The movie had some truly funny moments--and some of them were intentional.. but the funniest Lucas moments: 1) [spoiler]Describing them as "interdemensional aliens" to try to break free of the sci-fi stigma--and then following that up with a [i]fucking flying saucer![/i] Give it up George, they're [i]interdemensional [b]space[/b] aliens[/i][/spoiler] -- and 2) [spoiler]The most retarded bit of dialog in the movie--truely Star Wars caliber stuff, "Their treasure was knowledge....." "Knowledge was their treasure."--REDUNDANT--did anybody edit this script, at all?[/spoiler]

Lucas probably wanted to .. [spoiler]reveal that the crystal skull's belonged to Yoda's race--finally tying Star Wars to Earth and a real world time line.[/spoiler]

Thank god he wasn't driving this thing.

Pros: It has Indiana Jones in it. Stuff blows up. Cate Blanchett is unbelievably cool.

Cons: It has "Indiana Jones the third" in it (he's not bad, but.. too much screen time.. and the [spoiler]Tarzan shit[/spoiler] was totally unnecessary). Stuff blows up. Cate Blanchett isn't a Nazi.

Sath

Since 7442 Days

All I gotta say is I thought WOTW was decent, and those kids bitch about everything throughout the movie, which made the movie very boring to watch.

But I can't say anything about Kingdom of the Crytal Skull until I see it.

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Ninja Gaiden 2!

*A New Form of Change*

GriftGFX

Since 7576 Days

At least Spielberg had the balls to do this thing himself. We might live in a better world if James Cameron had the stones to ruin Terminator, instead of letting a bunch of other asshats do it for him. Terminator 4-6, here we come.

Lets see. What classic franchise haven't they trashed yet? Do you think Shia Lebouf could play Rick Blaine? We may need to start reaching even further back in the history of film making--there are some truly pristine classics that needs to be made into mockeries of their former selves.

In reply to

Sath

Since 7442 Days

Well T3 sucked, 2 was very very great, 1 was good.
4...well I don't know, Bale plays as John Connor, so I am hoping it will be good, but I don't expect it to be as good as 2 was, but that is for another movie.

As for Indy, I just hope the 4th movie will be entertain and fun to watch and that is what I want.

In reply to

Ninja Gaiden 2!

*A New Form of Change*

Ronsauce

Since 7561 Days

T4 is going to suck hard. I wish I could say that it may or may not suck, but I can't. It's PG13 and McG is directing it. McG directed the Charlie's Angels movies. There's only so much Bale can do, and I'm afraid it won't be enough to save T4.

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"If we can hit that bull's-eye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards...Checkmate." - Zapp Brannigan

NeoNemesis

Since 7288 Days

Its getting 80%ish on Rotten Tomatoes. So, it must be good right? :P

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Wii60!

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GriftGFX

Since 7576 Days

Terminator has gone steadily downhill since James Cameron jumped ship--and he should have, T2 was supposed to be the end. T4 is going to suck because it's being written by the same people who wrote T3, nuff said. Bale signed up to do three movies though, so we have that to look forward to (lol).

Posted by NeoNemesis

Its getting 80%ish on Rotten Tomatoes. So, it must be good right? :P

Nostalgia. Most of the positive reviews even admit as much. And it is good.. sorta.. just not very good. It's certainly not what I've come to expect from Spielberg even at his worst--but then again he doesn't let Lucas write and produce on his other films.

Best George Lucas production since.. the last Indiana Jones. Worst Steven Spielberg film.. ever?

In reply to

NeoNemesis

Since 7288 Days

Posted by GriftGFX

Nostalgia. Most of the positive reviews even admit as much. And it is good.. sorta.. just not very good. It's certainly not what I've come to expect from Spielberg even at his worst--but then again he doesn't let Lucas write and produce on his other films.

Best George Lucas production since.. the last Indiana Jones. Worst Steven Spielberg film.. ever?

Yea, but I'm going to see it anyway.

In reply to

Wii60!

"We've said that Gears of War was graphically the best game have ever been made, well it looks like Pong compared to Crysis and some of the DX10 titles."

-Gary Whitta (Venting on the NG podcast after Coming back from the Games for Windows)

GriftGFX

Since 7576 Days

Oh, and you should. I did enjoy it.. I was just hoping for more. I should have known better as soon as I saw the words, "Written by George Lucas" though.

In reply to

kenshin2418

Since 7551 Days

Leave INDY alone! I'm off to go see it with some friends right now myself......naked.

In reply to

“You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.”-- Harvey Dent

Tinks

Since 7505 Days

CONS
Why does Indiana Jones get married?! He's a womanizer like Bond, but I guess it's the last one so why not? Tarzan scene blows. Russians are boring as stated, and we all know the Nazis were much more interested in technological powers or supernatural possibilities. Indiana Jones is an "old man" now I guess, and is no longer as bad ass as he was in the original 3. Harrison just didn't seem the same due to the older character they wanted because of his irl age. Also Indy should have had some action with Cate's character imo, he's supposed to woo even the evil broads. NO romance scenes, just action

PROS
Shia is still not a bad actor, nor will he ever be probably. Cate Blanchett is a nice addition even though she's not entirely believable with her accent.
I liked the story, and a lot of the theories are real. I also liked the locations they used this time around

In reply to

Kudgel

Since 6875 Days

Oh shit I quoted your message and almost saw the spoilers ;/

Give it a rating on /5.

In reply to

If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh.

kenshin2418

Since 7551 Days

well that movie was interesting to say the least :/

it was like watching the last 3 SW films. I mean you're like, "man I'm so glad to see a new Indiana Jones flick, but my god is it bad!"

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“You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.”-- Harvey Dent

Kudgel

Since 6875 Days

Without a grade, I'm LOST

In reply to

If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh.

Dacs

Since 7650 Days

I haven't seen the film yet but from what I've read from your comments on the story, the plot concerning the skull seems very similar to a Stargate SG1 episode entitled Crystal Skull.

In reply to

GriftGFX

Since 7576 Days

Posted by Tinks

I liked the story, and a lot of the theories are real. I also liked the locations they used this time around

Crystal skulls are real, but they're also all hoaxes.. and there's very little reason to suspect that anyone ever actually believed they were alien in nature. The people who originally "discovered" these crystal skulls had claimed that they were originally Mayan or Aztec, but there's no such legend known that originates from South America. And it's been made pretty clear by research into these crystal skulls that they almost all originate in Europe in the 19th century.

The subject matter would have been much more interesting without the whole Roswell angle.. They may as well have belonged to Yoda.

Posted by Kudgel

Without a grade, I'm LOST

10/5

;)

In reply to

Tinks

Since 7505 Days

3.7 / 5

In reply to

Archaos

Since 7557 Days

I've just got back from watching it, and I quite enjoyed it. It was a bit of a cheese festival, but I'm ok with that every now and then.

Ignore this next comment if you do not watch Scrubs..

Plus the film gets extra kudos for simply having the Janitor in it! :P

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"I obtained natural play orgasm from gameplay. Elegant, superb! Masterpiece!"--AcefromRussia

TheBeagle

Since 7181 Days

Posted by Archaos

I've just got back from watching it, and I quite enjoyed it. It was a bit of a cheese festival, but I'm ok with that every now and then.

Ignore this next comment if you do not watch Scrubs..

Plus the film gets extra kudos for simply having the Janitor in it! :P

Yeah, I was surprised to see him there. I really enjoyed the film from a pure entertainment angle, but the end left me feeling extremely uncomfortable. I thought the car chases were absolutely brilliant. Also, did anyone notice the wilhelm? I liked that they threw that in there.

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Strange memories on this nervous night in Las Vegas. Has it been five years? Six? It seems like a lifetime.

Mikeey_kakashi

Since 6958 Days

I thouroghly enjoyed it. It was pure Indian Jones.
Oh and it was miles better than the Temple of Doom.

Fun, enteretaining and one heck of a ride 9/10

In reply to

SimonM7

Since 7599 Days

I have to say I mostly loved it too. I think Shia LaBeouf is awesome, possibly even more awesome than he was in Transformers, but I can see how not agreeing with that sentiment suddenly makes half the movie crap.

For me, he was KEY to making this surprisingly enjoyable. I think it sits firmly as the third most enjoyable Indy, with Temple of Doom being the bore fest it is, comparably.

Whenever animals were CG blobs I found it intrusive, but a lot of scenes definitely benefit from the kind of "camera work" CG makes possible. My favourite part of the entire film (somewhere in the middle) would've been impossible to realise any other way.

My main gripe with it is that it ultimately runs out of steam, and even when it comes back there's just too much damn people around. I don't mind Shia's character, like stated, but before it's over it's like a fucking expedition which Indy doesn't even feel in charge of. That's as close as I'll get to spoiling it in my non-spoilery area.

Spoilery area ahead!

Now, getting into specifics a bit more, the reason I thought Shia's character (Mutt from here on) worked so great was because he never overshadowed Indy. On the contrary, he managed to be a "cool" character on his own while being the main base for exposition when Indy started babbling about clues fitting together. The scene in the diner I thought was ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC, and the subsequent motorcycle ride was awesome too. I thought the chemistry between Mutt and Indy was one of the main strong points of the entire film, and I was delighted to see how well Shia shouldered the 50s teen rocker role so well.

As for the main plot, it wasn't nearly as iconic and memorable as the Ark or the Grail, but a damn sight better than voodoo rocks. I thought for sure that the alien stuff would crap all over an Indy movie but I just.. don't think it did, oddly enough. The final scene was mind boggling to say the least, but not more so than the Ark burning people's faces off really. The fact that clues are stupid and convoluted is to be expected, so nothing new in that sense.

But yeah, people, too many god damn characters towards the end. Why keep dragging that Mac dude along? He added NOTHING to the film beyond the initial introduction and the back stabbing. At the end they used him for tracking Indy, but they could just aswell have put some kind of device on the lass instead and been none the worse off.

I would've liked Indy to be the one to lead everyone in the end aswell. Instead we got Ox in the foreground and Indy just sort of tagging along, looking confused. What's up with that? What's up with not having Indy with a torch in hand, sweaty brow, taking the first steps into the unknown? Very disappointing.

Also, the "bad guys" and various threats, save for commie Cate, were absolute tosh. CG ants? For a second I could swear I was watching The Mummy Returns. Also, the random mayan dudes hopping out of the walls were just completely superfluous. They could've switched them for falling rocks or shooting arrows or some other deathtrap crap. Instead we sort of get this "who the hell were those guys? ah well, movie's forgot about them so I will too..." feeling.

But ultimately when there was adventurous stuff happening it just works. There's an inherent charm to this KIND of movie, and Harrison Ford still very much "has it" despite being ancient. Shia only amplifies this and further solidifies himself as one of the most charming, flexible and loveable new actors around. I think it's easy to forget just how simple the other Indy movies are and how much they live on just being really charming and loveable, and I think once this has settled in some more and the sheer newness of it has worn off a bit, it'll be fondly remembered aswell.

I'm giving it a definite 3/5.

In reply to

I have to say I mostly loved it too. I think Shia LaBeouf is awesome, possibly even more awesome than he was in Transformers, but I can see how not agreeing with that sentiment suddenly makes half the movie crap.

For me, he was KEY to making this surprisingly enjoyable. I think it sits firmly as the third most enjoyable Indy, with Temple of Doom being the bore fest it is, comparably.

Whenever animals were CG blobs I found it intrusive, but a lot of scenes definitely benefit from the kind of "camera work" CG makes possible. My favourite part of the entire film (somewhere in the middle) would've been impossible to realise any other way.

My main gripe with it is that it ultimately runs out of steam, and even when it comes back there's just too much damn people around. I don't mind Shia's character, like stated, but before it's over it's like a fucking expedition which Indy doesn't even feel in charge of. That's as close as I'll get to spoiling it in my non-spoilery area.

Spoilery area ahead!

[spoiler]Now, getting into specifics a bit more, the reason I thought Shia's character (Mutt from here on) worked so great was because he never overshadowed Indy. On the contrary, he managed to be a "cool" character on his own while being the main base for exposition when Indy started babbling about clues fitting together. The scene in the diner I thought was ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC, and the subsequent motorcycle ride was awesome too. I thought the chemistry between Mutt and Indy was one of the main strong points of the entire film, and I was delighted to see how well Shia shouldered the 50s teen rocker role so well.

As for the main plot, it wasn't nearly as iconic and memorable as the Ark or the Grail, but a damn sight better than voodoo rocks. I thought for sure that the alien stuff would crap all over an Indy movie but I just.. don't think it did, oddly enough. The final scene was mind boggling to say the least, but not more so than the Ark burning people's faces off really. The fact that clues are stupid and convoluted is to be expected, so nothing new in that sense.

But yeah, people, too many god damn characters towards the end. Why keep dragging that Mac dude along? He added NOTHING to the film beyond the initial introduction and the back stabbing. At the end they used him for tracking Indy, but they could just aswell have put some kind of device on the lass instead and been none the worse off.

I would've liked Indy to be the one to lead everyone in the end aswell. Instead we got Ox in the foreground and Indy just sort of tagging along, looking confused. What's up with that? What's up with not having Indy with a torch in hand, sweaty brow, taking the first steps into the unknown? Very disappointing.

Also, the "bad guys" and various threats, save for commie Cate, were absolute tosh. CG ants? For a second I could swear I was watching The Mummy Returns. Also, the random mayan dudes hopping out of the walls were just completely superfluous. They could've switched them for falling rocks or shooting arrows or some other deathtrap crap. Instead we sort of get this "who the hell were those guys? ah well, movie's forgot about them so I will too..." feeling.[/spoiler]

But ultimately when there was adventurous stuff happening it just works. There's an inherent charm to this [i]KIND[/i] of movie, and Harrison Ford still very much "has it" despite being ancient. Shia only amplifies this and further solidifies himself as one of the most charming, flexible and loveable new actors around. I think it's easy to forget just how simple the other Indy movies are and how much they live on just being really charming and loveable, and I think once this has settled in some more  and the sheer newness of it has worn off a bit, it'll be fondly remembered aswell.

I'm giving it a definite 3/5.

GriftGFX

Since 7576 Days

That alien crap did crap all over the movie. Thanks George.

But it wasn't all bad. Lucas should just stop telling stories, because he's clearly lost his mind. Shia Lebouf isn't a bad actor, and Mutt Williams isn't even a bad character, it's just the act of shoving this next-generation Indiana Jones concept down my throat in every scene that I find absolutely appalling. Make no mistake here, we will see an Indiana Jones 5 and it won't be 20 years later.

Good, so far from great, and a long ways away from classic. Nostalgia saves this film. If the same production values were attached to The Mummy 4, people would be more willing to take more notice of all of the stupid shit they were just subjected to.

Oh.. but Cate Blanchett.. you should have been a Nazi but I don't care I still love you.

Tarzan bullshit + killer ants + motherfucking aliens = fail.

And yet, I think 3/5 is pretty fair. After all that's 6/10, or 60/100.

Enjoy it for what it's worth.

In reply to

[spoiler]That alien crap did crap all over the movie. Thanks George.[/spoiler]

But it wasn't all bad. Lucas should just stop telling stories, because he's clearly lost his mind. Shia Lebouf isn't a bad actor, and Mutt Williams isn't even a bad character, it's just the act of shoving this next-generation Indiana Jones concept down my throat in every scene that I find absolutely appalling. Make no mistake here, we [i]will[/i] see an Indiana Jones 5 and it won't be 20 years later.

Good, so far from great, and a long ways away from [i]classic[/i]. Nostalgia saves this film. If the same production values were attached to The Mummy 4, people would be more willing to take more notice of all of the stupid shit they were just subjected to.

Oh.. but Cate Blanchett.. you should have been a Nazi but I don't care I still love you.

[spoiler]Tarzan bullshit + killer ants + motherfucking [i]aliens[/i] = fail.[/spoiler]

And yet, I think 3/5 is pretty fair. After all that's 6/10, or 60/100.

Enjoy it for what it's worth.

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